Nursing is a way of being!
Did you choose it
Did it choose you?
If YOU'RE LIKE ME,
IT CHOSE YOU!
Have you Heard
of these Statements ?
(and were proud to say them)
I didn't take any breaks today!
I had to reheat my coffee 5 times!
I didn't sit down for the entire shift!
I didn't go to the bathroom for 12 hours!
I came to work even though I have the flu!
I stayed past my shift & missed getting my kids
I cancelled my plans on my day off to come & help!
Why can't everyone be as thoughtful as I am?
What's your why?
If your patient made any of these statements what would you say to them? My guess is you would talk to them about the importance of self-care.
As an RN, I thought and said these things all the time; they were my badge of honor. Now I see that neglecting myself in the name of helping others made me feel valuable, worthy and needed. I didn't see the harm in this at the time.
Looking back I realize I resented the fact that I always put the needs of others before my own. I was angry that no one thought to help me because they knew I'd handle everything!
Self-Care Starts with Your Story
Nursing chose me because down deep I believed that if I was needed I would be valued and worthy of being loved. Because of my Adverse Childhood Experiences I ended up trading "helping" for love. I needed to give others what I never got as a kid-nurturing and parenting! To uncover the impact of your childhood experiences.
My lack of self-care, self-worth and self-love started with my story. You see, I'm a recovering Codependent/Enabler; I was born and raised by an addict and an enabler. As a kid, I was given the role of "fixer"; and when I did a great job of fixing family problems everyone was happy and I felt valued. I was just a kid when this this role was assigned to me. The way I saw my family dynamic was be the fixer and be valued and loved ; no fixer, no love, no value! No surprise that my sense of self, my identity has been that of someone who was always their to help others. This is great as long as your own well being is more important than helping others.
Even if, like me, you become a RN or other "healer " because of codependency, this doesn't mean you aren't a great nurse; I was and still am an awesome Nurse.
I didn't learn how to be a "healthy" helper untilI I learned how to have H.E.A.R.T. with myself - it was a practice I extended with everyone else! It was only when I started being Honest, Empathetic, Accepting, Relatable and Trustworthy while looking in the mirror that I became a nurse who was emotionally healthy. It was at this point that I could model for my clients what a "well" being looked like!
I loved helping others in need, it met my need to be needed
Being needed validated my worth
The more I gave of myself, the more worthy I felt.
The more worthy I felt by giving, the less my worth needed to come from within me
The less I acknowledged my own worth, the more I gave to prove it
The more I gave to others, the less I gave to myself.
The less I gave to myself, the less I received from others
The less help I received, the more resentful I got
The more resentful I felt, the less empowered I became
The less empowered I was, the more I began blaming & making excuses
The more I blamed & made excuses, the less responsibility I claimed
I felt powerless to change my situation
If I couldn't change my situation, how could I teach clients & coworkers to change theirs.
Start Your Journey to Making Yourself a Priority!
7 Self-Skills for Soft Skills as My Gift to You
STAT! Code Red
Nurses are the backbone of Healthcare
We MUST Learn to Put the Oxygen Mask on First
I'm a huge believer in our power as Nurses - we are Influencers! We Nurses are synonymous with (Honesty, Empathy, Acceptance, Relatability and Trust)
Just think of the impact we can make in this world if we treated extended
People trust Nurses - they believe that our words are true. If they knew how we treat ourselves would we still earn their trust?
I doubt it! We have to start "walking our talk".
When we master self-love and prioritize self -care, we can use our collective power to make a difference in the world - one that would benefit the greater good. Changing the world is a big job that requires knowing how to "fill your cup once it's emptied"!
WE are burning out and falling victim to compassion fatigue at
alarming rates! In the next few decades, they are projecting a shortage of nearly 600,000 nurses!
The time has come to set the record straight...
Not making our own Physical & Emotional Wellness (PEW) a top priority STINKS!